If you’re here, chances are you’re a King of the Hill fan, a caption connoisseur, or just someone who knows a legendary one-liner when they hear it.
Whether you’re trying to spice up your Instagram caption, add some attitude to your group chat, or simply pay homage to the unforgettable war hero with no shins, you’ve landed in the right place.
Cotton Hill wasn’t just Hank Hill’s wild-eyed father, he was a walking soundbite factory.
Bold, brash, and totally unapologetic, Cotton gave us quotes that are hilarious, outrageous, and oddly charming.
So if you’re searching for Cotton Hill quotes that pack a punch, scroll on. We’ve organized them into categories to help you find the perfect match for your vibe.
Best Cotton Hill Quotes for Instagram Captions
These are your go-tos for turning a casual selfie or throwback post into something unforgettable.
If you’re looking for creative captions that show off your Southern roots and quirky sense of humor, you’ve come to the right place.
These Instagram captions are perfect for anyone who appreciates funny captions, sarcastic remarks, and Cotton Hill’s iconic swagger.
Lost my shins, not my swagger
Raised hell and lowered expectations
Marching through life like it’s World War II
Respect your elders or get yelled at by one
Took names, kicked butt, still got it
Can’t walk straight, still talk straight
Don’t need knees to drop truth bombs
Got grit in my gut and sass in my soul
Cotton Hill energy: unmatched
Laugh loud, live wild, never apologize
Southern sass with a combat patch
All bark, more bite
Survivor of war, worrier of none
Rude, crude, but never subdued
The legend with the limp
Short on patience, tall on attitude
War vet, wordsmith, wildcard
Cotton Hill Quotes Funny
Perfect for meme creators who want to inject some old-school hilarity into their posts. Funny quotes and memes are a surefire way to lighten the mood, and Cotton Hill’s unique personality makes for the perfect comedic content. Use these quotes to bring some old-school charm to modern social media.
I killed fitty men, how many you got?
This ain’t Vietnam, it’s Tuesday
You call that a war face?
The only drill I trust is in my toolbox
Raised on grit, fed on sarcasm
Proudly offensive since 1945
Don’t make me get my belt
You whippersnappers need a history lesson
Turn down the nonsense or I’ll turn up the volume
Nothing wrong with a little volume and violence
The sass is hereditary
Dignity is optional when you’re Cotton
Ain’t here for your feelings
Old but gold and absolutely bold
If you’re not mad yet, you will be
Warning: high salt content
Looks like trouble just found you
Cotton Hill Quotes for Savage Moments
Need a fiery clapback or just want to drop a spicy line? Here’s where Cotton delivers.
Savage quotes and burns from Cotton Hill will have you covered for any moment when you want to roast someone without holding back.
These quotes are perfect for adding attitude to your posts, texts, or memes.
I didn’t survive a war to tolerate this
You don’t scare me, I raised Hank
Sharp tongue, sharper temper
I don’t argue, I declare war
Respect is earned, or else
Politeness is overrated
Your opinion? Classified nonsense
Triggered? Good
I bark, bite, and don’t apologize
Southern hospitality, minus the hospitality
Sugarcoat it and I’ll spit it back
I speak fluent insult
Diplomacy died in ’45
You can’t cancel the uncancellable
Say it with your chest or don’t say it at all
Vintage rage, always in style
I make enemies for sport
Iconic Cotton Hill Sayings from King of the Hill
These quotes are rooted in the show and full of nostalgia for die-hard fans. King of the Hill quotes are a classic way to express your humor and love for the show.
Whether you’re reminiscing about the Hill family’s hilarious antics or referencing the show’s dry wit, these quotes are perfect for any situation.
I killed fitty men
That boy ain’t right
Don’t sass me, boy
This is America, dagnabbit
I’ll whoop you like it’s boot camp
I marched through hell barefoot
Call me short again, I dare you
War taught me patience, then I unlearned it
Hank, I raised you better… didn’t I?
It’s not yelling, it’s commanding
I chew nails and spit vinegar
Keep your fancy talk, I’ve got grit
Your drama’s weaker than your handshake
No filter, just facts
A medal and a mouthful
If I say jump, you better salute
I got stories older than you
Short Cotton Hill Captions for T-Shirts or Stickers
Quick, punchy, and perfect for designs that demand attitude. These short captions work perfectly on stickers, merchandise, or just as a bold expression of your personality.
They’re punchy, direct, and sure to make an impact!
Fitty men, zero regrets
Built like a bombshell
No legs, all sass
Veteran vibes only
Salty since ’45
Cotton Hill certified
Loud, proud, and shin-less
Grit, gumption, and gall
Cane-wielding chaos
Retired? Never
Raised in combat, living in chaos
Say it like Cotton
Warning: volatile
Born tough, stayed louder
Made in Texas
Wiser than your Wi-Fi
Attitude veteran
Cotton Hill Quotes to Roast Your Friends
Because nothing says friendship like a little Cotton-style ribbing. Roasting friends with humor and a little sass has never been easier.
These quotes are perfect for playful jabs with your closest friends, just be ready for some epic comebacks!
You got less grit than a fruit cup
Even my cane’s tougher than you
If brains were bullets, you’d be unarmed
You talk big for someone with soft hands
You’re the reason I yell
What’s slower, your walk or your thinking?
I’d explain it, but you wouldn’t get it
You’re proof evolution isn’t a straight line
If I had a nickel for every dumb thing you said…
You make Hank look edgy
Are you always this dramatic or is it Thursday?
Your Wi-Fi’s faster than your wit
Call me Cotton, I cut deep
Roast level: war zone
I survived worse, like your opinions
Less brains, more volume
You’re lucky I like yelling
Conclusion
There you have it, Cotton Hill quotes that are ready to spice up your captions, memes, and conversations.
Whether you’re channeling his chaos, clapping back like a champ, or just honoring one of the most unforgettable characters in animated TV, you’ve got a whole arsenal to play with.
Pick your favorite, own the moment, and post it with pride. Because as Cotton would probably say, don’t just say it… shout it!
